[Folkmore IC Inbox][un: forestwatcher]

[forestwatcher]

forestwatcher

You've reached Tighnari. I'm not able to answer right now, so just leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.

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[forestwatcher]

['You can come in.'

Words he was waiting for, as difficult as it would have been to turn around and leave had they not been spoken. Tighnari pushes the door open and enters, his hair and fur in faint disarray from sleep and a pillow crease still evident on his cheek, but he crosses the room without hesitation and sits down on the edge of Cyno's bed with his eyes full of concern.]

I heard you shouting.

[Obviously. Cyno could never fool his ears, and certainly not when they're in the same house. He reaches out to curl one hand around the back of the other man's knuckles and gives his fingers a gentle squeeze.

No guesses needed for what all the noise had been about.]

Bad dreams?

[cashewlater]

[ shouting.. he was shouting? he was. that's why his throat feels raw, his voice rough as crushed gravel. ]

Yeah.

[ there's no reason to deny it - cyno isn't too proud to admit it, and besides, tighnari would see through a fib in an instant. cyno's not in the habit of telling lies, even little white ones. tighnari's fingers close over the back of his dry, cracked knuckles, and cyno nearly flinches away reflexively, his hand still quaking beneath his friend's touch.

it's not often that cyno feels shame, but.. he's certainly feeling something like it, right now. he trusts tighnari completely, fully, even at a time like this, but he simply does not wear vulnerability well. cyno's eyes flick toward tighnari, shadows flitting behind them, his hand beneath tighnari's turning almost of its own volition, weaving their fingers together. ]

Sorry for waking you. I'll be all right. I just.. need a moment.

[ a moment to swallow his pounding heart back down to where it should be, a moment to breathe, to wipe the sweat from his brow. ]

[forestwatcher]

[He's not ignorant of the kinds of things Cyno has done. The kinds of things he must do to follow his creed. Tighnari has always understood even if he has not always agreed, and he takes no pleasure now in knowing that his friend's relentless pursuit of his goals now comes to plague him.

Cyno flinches under his touch and he does not take it to heart, nor does he pull his hand away. He allows the lacing of their fingers with a warm smile and squeezes Cyno's hand again in reassurance.]

All right.

[The young man sits quietly, his tail curled on the bed and the tip of it lightly flicking back and forth. He cups his free hand over the top of the other man's and rubs his thumb slowly against the chapped skin, just waiting in comfortable silence for Cyno to feel ready to speak again.]

[cashewlater]

[ sitting with tighnari, just silently being with him is a great comfort. it can't entirely chase away the sound of the voices ringing in his ears, or the thick scent of blood in his memory, the sensation of it sloshing and sticking beneath his feet.

cyno leans back against the headboard, his bare, sweat-slicked chest rising and falling - quickly at first, but then more steadily as he comes down, as his nerves begin to settle, and all the while his hand remains bound with tighnari's, his callused palm clammy. tighnari's fingers feel warm. gentle. grounding. cyno closes his eyes, and leans his head back. ]

I remember.. before I was General, when I was still a Matra, the first time I took a life.

[ it feels so long ago now. he'd been young, barely fifteen. cyno's fingers squeeze tighnari's gently. ]

It was just like this.

[forestwatcher]

[In all the years they have known one another he has never seen Cyno so deeply shaken. It's all he can do not to fuss, not to speak, to just sit there holding on to his hand while he works through his distress and levels his breathing. The other man leans back and Tighnari scoots himself a little more onto the bed, curling his legs up underneath himself and tucking his tail into his lap.]

It's never easy.

[He murmurs, understanding.

His long ears twitch, as if he's resisting an instinctive urge to fold them back against his head. Instead he looks down at their joined hands, where his thumb is still gently caressing over Cyno's knuckles, and he shakes his head. Tighnari is not without blood on his own hands. He would do anything to protect his beloved forest and those who live within it.]

Do you want to tell me about it?

[cashewlater]

It.. got easier.

[ he's not ashamed of that. it's his job, and cyno takes it incredibly seriously. he does not take life unless it is absolutely necessarily, and he has absolutely no regrets. still, the weight of it all can pull heavy, sometimes, and their voices now haunt him in his dreams. tighnari pulls a little closer on the bed, and cyno's weight soon sags against him, his carmine eyes flicking open to look into tighnari's face again. just the sight of him is soothing. ]

The dream? It.. didn't make much sense. There was blood.

[ so much blood. old blood, rank and reeking, sticking to his skin. ]

And voices.. screaming. Angry. I recognized them all.

[ cyno's eyelids drop low, his throat bobbing as he swallows, his rough thumb smoothing along the inside of tighnari's wrist. ]

[forestwatcher]

[Cyno has always been so dedicated and Tighnari has not been ignorant of the weight of his friend's position... nor the toll it takes on him. He moves closer, Cyno leans into him, and he doesn't hesitate in freeing one hand so he can wrap his arm around the other man's shoulders. Despite the chilly weather outside the treehouse is cosy, Cyno's skin is warm, and the fabric of Tighnari's robe is soft against it.]

Hey...

[He won't say 'it's going to be okay'. He wouldn't insult his friend with platitudes even if that was his way of doing things. Tighnari squeezes Cyno in against his side and turns his head to prop his chin against the top of his pale hair, finally giving in and letting his ears swing back and down.]

Dreams can be more shocking than reality. That's something I've learned. [His voice is a low, humming murmur.] No one knows how best to probe our weaknesses better than ourselves.

[cashewlater]

[ for all that it took to bring them to this.. it's a nice moment.

tighnari wraps around him like a warm blanket, and cyno does not hesitate to surrender all but immediately, sinking into tighnari's warmth, breathing in the soothing, floral scent of his skin and fur. cyno's arms coil around tighnari's middle, holding close, his head dropping heavy onto his shoulder. he doesn't think too hard about just why it is so easy to be this near to someone else, nor does he stop to consider how rare a thing this is. being close with tighnari has been easy for years, cyno falls into it without hesitation. ]

I'm beginning to learn that.

[ he can hardly remember the dreams he had when he was young, but they were certainly not like this, not so jarring, not so violent, not so harrowing. cyno exhales against tighnari's collar, immensely grateful, in this moment, to have him here. how fortunate he is to be afforded this privilege. ]

Would you tell me what you dream about?

[forestwatcher]

[It is nice.

Cyno has long been a trusted friend of Tighnari's. Someone he doesn't mind having close, experiencing his more tactile side and how easily he will welcome contact from people he likes. He settles in against the headboard, tucks Cyno in against his side, and digs his fingertips gently down into his hair to softly scratch at his scalp in slow, easy circles.]

This and that. I usually don't remember very much. [The occasional jarring one still lingers when he wakes but mostly it's vague details and impressions. Tighnari rests his cheek against the top of the other man's head.]

Last night, I dreamed that I was a fox.

[Not a wholly unusual thing to dream about, given that Tighnari's favoured form when he shapeshifts as a Familiar is a large, green, nine-tailed kitsune.] And I was exploring the forest, all of the different sounds and smells... When I woke up I almost forgot I was human, for a moment.

[cashewlater]

[ for cyno, tighnari is the only person he is comfortable enough to unwind around, to allow to see his tender, vulnerable underbelly. cyno has (had) his mentor, his fellow matra with whom he has camaraderie, and he is growing ever closer with collei, but tighnari is and has ever been his only real friend. the person he trusts most in all the world. the person he can open to, and touch, and hold close to.

that is slowly changing, as cyno begins to slowly but surely open his heart to others, but none of them can compare with tighnari. ]

That sounds good.

[ tighnari's fingers tangle into cyno's hair, the roots still damp with sweat, and the scratch of his nails feels absolutely exquisite. a low, gravelly growl rolls deep in cyno's throat, rumbling against tighnari's shoulder, his body falling slack, all remaining tension melting away. ]

Perhaps if I think on it enough, I can dream of being a wolf.

[ like as not it would feel as natural as breathing, for all cyno is a wild, feral thing beneath his stoic exterior, a creature of instinct, a loyal, mournful, territorial predator. ]

[forestwatcher]

[He has to chuckle at that little growl, the way that Cyno suddenly falls lax against him, and he continues those gentle scratching circles as the other man continues to speak. Being able to be close to him like this is a blessing and one that he knows very few people are granted. Tighnari is not going to waste a moment of the soft intimacy that Cyno allows them to have together.]

A wolf? Mm... that does sound like you.

[Though he doesn't have much experience in dreams or their guidance, it's something that he expects he will be able to study. Perhaps a venture to the Kuma Lisa academy would be in order for such a thing, or... perhaps Baba Yaga? He doesn't relish the prospect of the latter, but he had been meaning to go there anyway...]

You seem calmer now. [The young man murmurs then, sliding his thumb idly back and forth behind Cyno's ear.] Do you want me to stay here with you?

[cashewlater]

[ lupus aureus is his constellation, after all, and the spirit of the wolf dwells within him, sunk deep into his bones and flesh. cyno has always felt a draw to wolves, a kinship with them. to wear the fur of a wolf, even only in dreams, sounds quite appealing.

more appealing at the moment, however, is tighnari's nearness, the soothing pull of fingers through his hair, gentle, appeasing. eyes closed, body still, he leans his weight into tighnari's, the slope of his shoulders easing. tighnari makes it so very easy for cyno to feel safe, and secure, a feeling that cyno does not often experience, given his line of work. though images of his nightmare still flash behind his eyes, it all feels much further away now. ]

You don't need to feel obligated to.

[ he starts, murmuring at the gentle slide of tighnari's thumb behind his ear, quieting him. ]

But.. I'd like it if you did.

[forestwatcher]

Then I will.

[It isn't as if he'd sleep easily if he left, knowing he had abandoned Cyno to the demons in his mind. Tighnari shifts, nudging the other man away from him for a moment so he can wiggle out of his robe. Under the plush fabric he's wearing a pair of soft linen pyjama pants, and with no shyness about his bare chest he snags the blankets to pull them over the two of them and settles down again, pulling Cyno in close.

The room is only very dimly lit by the moon and a few lights outside and it's easy to sink into comfortable sleepiness again now he knows that the other man is less distressed.

What a wonderful thing it is to be able to be this person for Cyno. The one he trusts above all others, the one he can be vulnerable with... Tighnari knows how lucky he is.]

Are you comfortable, Cyno..?

[cashewlater]

[ he'd known that's what tighnari would say, and a part of cyno can't help but feel a little guilty for waking him, dragging him out of bed to be here, but.. they're close, and he would do the same for tighnari in a heartbeat, if he was needed. so he pushes that thought away.

fabric whispers as tighnari removes his robe and settles down into the blanket, cyno pulling away for the brief moment it takes his friend to get comfortable before tighnari is tugging him back in again. cyno goes willingly, easily, his body sinking against tighnari's. similarly, he wears only a light pair of sleeping shorts, but that's no real surprise, cyno's normal clothing is scant to begin with. still, it means that there is plenty of skin-to-skin contact when cyno lays against him, pressed to tighnari's side with his head nestled into the crook of tighnari's shoulder.

he smells good, the scent of his skin and fur so warm and familiar. ]

Mmhmm..

[ cyno hums, the sound like a soft purr in his throat, and presses his face into tighnari's throat. ]

I'm glad to be able to see so much of you.

[ if there's one good thing about being in this place.. it's that he has so much time to spend with tighnari. ]

[forestwatcher]

[The young botanist, strong minded as he is, could hardly be persuaded to stay somewhere that he didn't want to be. It had been care and concern for his friend that had drawn him to Cyno's door and it is that same concern that keeps him here tucked warmly together with him under the cosy blankets.

He shifts his tail to the opposite side of where Cyno is and tucks it down beside his thigh, but the soft sound of it gently thudding against the mattress can be heard quite clearly.]

Mm... I'm glad too. We didn't even see this much of each other when we were at the Akademiya.

[Both busy even then. Granted Cyno had kept a very close eye on him for a time, but that hardly counted.] ... You know, I missed you after you disappeared. I'm used to not knowing where you are, but it felt different.

[cashewlater]

[ the gentle thumping of tighnari's tail is enough to bring a mild smile to cyno's face, his mouth curving against the skin of his best friend's neck. ]

No, we didn't.

[ and they'd still seen quite a lot of each other, then, even if much of their time together was spent reading, studying, working on papers, for even as a matra, cyno continued to learn. he still does, though studying in the house of daena isn't quite the same without tighnari sitting quietly beside him.

at tighnari's admittance, cyno lifts his head, resting it on the pillow beside tighnari, their faces close. it's dim, but he can still see the moonlight shining off of tighnari's eyes. ]

I know. I'm sorry. It all worked out for the best, but I missed seeing you. Even if you would have just fussed over the state of my hands.

[forestwatcher]

[Back then he had appreciated Cyno's quiet intelligence. His unintrusive manner. How he never expected anything of Tighnari in the way that other researchers often did. It was no surprise to him when they became friends, though he could never have expected the depth of the friendship.

Sometimes he does miss those old days when they would sit across from one another in the House of Daena, silent and deep in their studies. A time in his life that Tighnari simply can't go back to no matter how many times Akademiya representatives turn up to bay at his door.

He took many valuable things from his time there but few things are more valuable to him than this friendship.]

Yes, yes... [Tighnari would have done that. He shifts when Cyno does, turning onto his side and setting his head down on the pillow. His tail is still softly thudding against the mattress.] I understand why you had to do it, and why you couldn't tell me what was happening. [Cyno's hair looks like moonlight. He draws a lock of it forwards and plays with it.]

It would have been a conflict of interest for me to know, on so many different levels. I don't blame you.

[cashewlater]

[ cyno had felt much the same, when first they met, and fell in together. having someone to simply sit quietly with was incredibly good, and though cyno had long since come to terms with the idea that people feared and avoided him, it nevertheless felt.. nice, to have someone not draw away from his every step, to have someone like and accept him simply for the person he is.

yet even tighnari leaving the akademiya had not changed them. they saw one another less, surely, but their time spent together was still just as sweet, just as good, just as close. distance did not damage them, and in time, they only grew closer still. ]

Mm. You know I trust you. Things were.. complicated.

[ cyno's arm slips over tighnari's side, languidly holding to him, his fingertips idly brushing against the base of his tail. ]

But it's resolved, now. For what little that means, in this place.

[forestwatcher]

I know that you trust me.

[And Tighnari trusts him in turn. A valued friendship to be sure and one that he is sure few outside of it truly understand. How bold he must seem to any observer, teasing and prodding at the General Mahamatra the way he does, never showing a hint of fear towards him. There had never been a reason for him to feel fear when it came to Cyno - he had never done anything wrong, and the reputation of the General Mahamatra when it came to academic misconduct was so often overstated.

Very few Akademiya scholars would ever conduct research of the kind that would draw his attention.

Cyno touches so close to his tail and he sighs, a contented little rumble buzzing in the back of his throat. He bunts their foreheads together fondly and smiles over at his friend in the darkness.]

Go back to sleep. You can hold on to my tail if you want to.

[Tighnari often did it when he was younger, and sometimes even now. It's very comforting.]

[cashewlater]

[ tighnari's observation is spot-on. though cyno occasionally investigates students - as in tighnari's case - it's quite a rare occurrence. cyno goes after the big fish, and leaves the small stuff to his fellow matra. yet his vicious reputation precedes him nonetheless, and likely it always shall, but cyno is content. he has tighnari, and collei. they're all he needs.

and tighnari's smile is all he needs to remind him of that. the sight of it alone makes his heart burgeon with warmth. ]

Mmm. I suppose I should.

[ sleep, that is, but he'll take advantage of tighnari's offer, as well. cyno's fingers drop lower, gently tugging tighnari's tail over his hip so he can sink his rough, callused fingers into all of that dense green fur. it's so warm, so soft.. cyno hums his pleasure, and closes his eyes. ]

Thank you, 'Nari. Goodnight.

[forestwatcher]

[Though he has to shift a little to put himself in a more comfortable position if Cyno is going to hold on to him like that, he doesn't mind it at all. That the offer is accepted makes his heart warm.

And it makes him happy, too, that the other man feels safe enough now to return to sleep when his nightmares had been so terrible.

With fingers buried into the fur of his tail and his whole body pressed warm and sure to the length of Cyno's he sighs again, content, and briefly cups the side of Cyno's face. His thumb brushes over the desert-dweller's cheekbone, then he settles himself down to rest as well and closes his eyes. It's likely he won't sleep with his friend so close by, kept awake by every single little noise he makes, but it's fine. Tighnari doesn't mind.]

Sleep well, Cy.

[cashewlater]

[ and he does sleep well indeed.

pressed close to tighnari, cyno falls into a deep sleep, and the nightmares do not again touch him. his dreams are strange, disjointed, but warm - memories of avidya forest, of tighnari and collei - and they wrap him like a soft blanket. he doesn't wake again, not until the morning sun streams through his window to strike his closed eyelids.

cyno stirs, shifting, murmuring something low and soft and nonsensical. his arms are wound around tighnari's middle, cyno's face pressed into his throat, and everything feels warm and perfect. he inhales, catching the familiar floral scent of his friend's skin, and opens his eyes. golden sunlight fills the cozy little room, flooding the space, streaking across the bed, and everything feels perfectly good and still. their legs are tangled, their bodies close, and slowly the previous night's memories crawl back into his mind. right. he'd had a nightmare. bloody hands, ripping and pulling..

but there's no place for that, now, not in this warm atmosphere, with tighnari pressed so close to him. cyno inhales his scent, his fingers still buried in tighnari's tail, stroking gently. ]

[forestwatcher]

[Despite thinking he will not be able to fall asleep Tighnari does eventually doze off, lulled by the regular beat of Cyno's heart and the soft sound of his peaceful rest.

When the other man wakes up, the forest watcher is pressed in close to his side with his forehead tucked down against Cyno's shoulder, his long ears draped over the other man's head. His tail is still wrapped up around his friend's waist, and during the night he has hooked one leg over him as well.

It's warm and cosy, and when Cyno stirs Tighnari's gradual return to consciousness is reluctant. He grunts, lightly butting his head against Cyno's shoulder, then slowly opens his eyes.]

Ah... [He did sleep, after all. Tighnari stretches, yawns, then snuggles back in close and comfortable. One of his ears flicks against the top of the other man's head.] You slept well?

[cashewlater]

[ ah yes, waking to the ears in his face..

it's not the first time, and it certainly isn't likely to be the last. but cyno doesn't mind, it's just one of tighnari's idiosyncrasies that cyno loves. still half-dozed, cyno turns his head to nuzzle his nose against the soft fur of tighnari's ear, breathing in its soft, musky scent. ]

I did, thanks to you.

[ without tighnari's comforting warmth beside him, cyno is quite sure that the nightmares would have returned to plague him in the night. but he slept well and deeply, and now, cuddled in close with his dearest companion, he feels entirely at ease - an uncommon feeling, for one so vigilant as cyno, but he won't complain. one arm stretches, curving over tighnari's shoulders to pull him closer still, while the other slips his fingers out of his tail to curl behind his own head, supporting it. he yawns. ]

Did I keep you up?

[ this isn't the first time they've shared sleeping space before, after all, and cyno knows how sensitive his hearing is. ]

[forestwatcher]

Mrgh, don't chuff in my ear like that.

[He pulls away from Cyno's breathing him in with a light laugh and a smile, and shifts away just a little to smooth them both with his hands - almost cat like.

Then Cyno's arm slips around him and he 'eep's softly, half leaning up against the other man's chest. It leaves him able to slide one hand into Cyno's hair, the pad of his thumb smoothing against his temple, and he looks down at him with a soft half smile.]

Only a little, at first. I fell asleep eventually. [It would have been worse, he thinks, to have had to listen to Cyno tossing and turning all night at best and more of him yelling at worst. At least like this they both slept comfortably and without any disturbing dreams.]

We haven't done this for a while, have we?